Saturday, August 28, 2010

**

Home.
A place I spent eighteen years of my life. Eighteen wonderful years, full of love, unforgetable friendships and memories.
A place, which will always be missed, especially when far away.
Like now, about ten thusand miles away.
I've been away now for ten months, so far the longest.
Yet I know people who've been away from their houses for several years, I shouldn't complain then.
But they usually wouldn't have any other choice.
I do. Well, kinda.
Remembering 'why' I'm here in the first place makes me wana give it all up and start new life somewhere else.
Somewhere I would feel more 'myself'.

On the other hand, I love being where I am right now. I know I am very Blessed. I have those things I've dreamed of when I was a little girl - a house that I can step out barefooted whenever I want to (not like in an appartment in the middle of the city), summer season the whole year, a car. I'm also near to my second home - the Philippines.
I feel much more closer with the nature that surrounds me, I appreciate the beauty of this world much more since I'm here. Those beautiful Islands just in my reach..
And the cheap seafood! Mmm, well that's an aditional treat :)

But the thing with being 'myself'.. Well, I'm still ME. But what makes me 'fully me' are also people that complete my life!
Now, I know they are there for me, even though far away, I can still count on them, they still know every little thing that is going on in my life. It just doesn't seem the same.
 I don't like missing out in my love one's lives.
I wish I was there to comfort my family during my late Grandpa's funeral
I wish I was there TODAY to be a part of my older brother's Big Day. His wedding is still on at this moment.
But I'm here, and I can't do much about it right now.

I know I might be talking trough my lonesome. I just remember that's not how it was suppose to be when I, or actually not just me, planned this whole 'adventrue'.


But okay, before I start going around other issues (that wasn't my point, lol) I just want to say, what everyone knows anyway - I miss home. Every day, very badly. It makes me nostalgic very often. Even too often I would say. Even though I moved out two years ago, living here in Malaysia made me realize that Poland is my real home. Despite being born in the Philippines and spending my first year of my life there.
And even though Poland may only be a place I will visit once in a while in my future, I will always call it My Home.

I'm sure I will be going back to this topic once in a while :)
Natalia Kukulska - Tu moge byc soba <- it's just about what I mentioned above.

2 comments:

  1. galfrend trust mi ma body is in malaysia but ma mind iz back home. at tyms i just wsh i hadnt come this far. home is home and its where our hearts will always be. cant wait 2 get done and reunite wth the family and frends.

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  2. ugh you feel me! I know it's the road we took, and we should go till its end. sometimes it's just so hard, thinking our happiness was left behind. but actually I know that the happiness is waiting at the end of this road! just like our love one's :)

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